Hometown Diary

   After months and months of struggling and torture in the University, finally I'm back to my hometown! Being able to go back to where I belong, is the happiest thing that ever happen to my life. 

  My schedule is packed ever since I came back from KL, it's either family time or gathering with friends. Just last night, we had a small gathering with form 6 classmates, and though like almost half of them couldn't make it to the gathering, but still we had a blast. We shared our experience in the university and silly things that we had encountered in the campus, and laugh like a bunch of maniacs. It was silly, but it's the best moment in my life. 

  I was happy that I'm back here, but at the same time I feel like I'm forgetting something. Maybe I was too occupied with the assignments and clinical posting and stuff, i started to forget about those little things that matter to me in the past. I don't forget things easily, but i guess my brain is procrastinating by blocking those important memories of mine. 

  Sometimes, I wonder what if I make a different choice in the first place. What if I choose to go for private university in the first place with my SPM result and choose another course which is totally different from nursing instead of choosing stpm. I wonder am I going to be a different person from who I am today. Sometimes my mom will grumble over the future that I chose and said that I could have chosen something better with my capability. And sometimes what she said make me doubt that whether I have done the right thing in the first place. Yes, it's what want. But sometimes it just make me wonder that will my life be better if i have made a different choice, regardless in studies, or other aspects of my life.

life in university II

     Time flies, it has been months since I fly to KL to study here. Remember how torturing it is during the my first night in the hostel. I ended up crying all night in the room, missing my mom and everyone in the family. And now it has been months I'm here, still trying my best to adapt to the surrounding and the people here. Being a girl who live in a small city, KL is a bit too much for me. I mean it's a great place to shop and a great place to spend your holidays, but it's definitely not an ideal place to live in. Well, it's my personal opinion though, it's just that hustle and bustle of the city is a bit too much to take, I rather live in a place where the air is fresh to breath, a place where we could still see greenies at the road side instead of big buildings and skyscraper. All in all, nothing is better than Miri, and I miss being in Sarawak.

      The people here, well not going to say much. But I would say I don't make a lot of friends here, except my course mates. I'm rather close with them compare to the friends of mine who are in other course. Well, time itself is a problem and being busy with studies and clinical posting is a problem also. I wouldn't blame them for not finding me coz I know they are busy as well. But seeing others who know exactly everybody in the hostel despite the fact that they are studying in different courses, well it does makes me feel like a weirdo. A weirdo who don't have friends, a weirdo who rather stuck in her room instead of going out to make new friends. Because I know that I'm going to be the one who is not going to talk whenever i meet new people, so I will ended up being left out in the corner and staring at my own phones instead of talking to people. All the other people are good in socializing unlike me, they can talk like they knew each other for a long time even though they just met for the first time. So in the end, I'm a turtle who refuse to stick out her head and stays inside her shell for all the time, as it's the only way that she feels herself is completely protected and secured. But luckily all my course mates are really nice despite the fact that we came from different places, and are of different races and different religion. But I'm glad that we are able to mix around together and share jokes and laugh like a maniac together. It's a kind of experience that I don't really get to experience when I'm back in Sarawak as most of my friends are Chinese. Though I really envy those who can make a lot of friends with other, but in the end, what matters the most is that having friends that are truly sincere to you is what that matters.

     Being a novice, a year one semester one nursing student, I faced a lot of hardships during my clinical posting time, I have 6 weeks of clinical posting, and this saturday will be the last day of my clinical posting. I can't believe I actually survived this 6 torturing weeks. Being the fact that we are a nursing students who are doing their degree studies and the fact that we are degree students who has 0 experience in dealing with patients, we faced a lot of prejudice from the staff nurse. well not all of them are bad la, just particular some.LOL. Talking to us in an impolite ways are their style, and our daily routine is to suck it up, no matter how bad their attitude is. At first, we feel very depressed. But I think we are getting used to it already, well you gotta learn to adapt to the environment if you wish to survive. No matter how hard it was during this 6 weeks, I have never tell my mom a single word about the hardships that me and friends are going through. I guess that's what growing up is all about: You tell your parents you are fine even though you're not so they will not worry about you. There are times I feel like want to give up and I even doubt myself whether I have chosen the right thing or not. Sigh, I guess my life has something to say to me: WELCOME TO THE ADULT WORLD.