忐忑，不舍

倒数六天。

倒数六天，我就要离开这个我爱的城市，到另一片土地去求学了。

长这么大，还是第一次到那么远的地方去求学。

此刻的心情真的很复杂，既紧张又忐忑。既期待又不舍。

紧张，因为我不知道我会不会在大学里遇到一个能够与我无所不谈的知己。

这几天，老妈一直再三叮咛我去到那里要戴眼镜识人，不要轻易相信别人。

果然，长大后的世界真的很不一样。

长大了，你会发现大部分的人都是自私的。不会有人会天真到不计较回报为你付出一切，每一个人都是自私的个体。在一个这样的群体生活，对别人有所保留也许是最好的自卫方法。

也许，长大教会我们的就是连最基本的信任都不可以轻易给人吧。

不舍，是因为我要离开家人，朋友还有这片充满回忆的土地，去到一个陌生的城市。

 “外面的世界很精彩，外面的世界很无奈。” 出去见见世面固然好，但是只怕自己无时无刻都在想家。想念妈妈的唠叨，虽然大部分时间我都觉得她的唠叨很烦人。想念因为作弄妹妹而白眼我的那一刻。想念跟朋友一起出去，一起互相吐槽，一起讲黄色笑话，一起笑到像个疯子。

如果我在那里讲黄色笑话，我看我应该会被人认为是个不折不扣的色女。lol!

我知道我不该把升学看作是个很可怕的事情。我也希望自己能够在那里交到真心的朋友，开心地度过那四年。=) 大家一起加油吧

afraid

And here i am, sitting in front of m blog, writing about the stuff that i'm busy with lately.

I'm trying to prepare stuff that is need to enter the university, and last week had been a really hectic week for me. I went out in the morning, and come back in the evening, been outside for the whole day. Went to the bank, the clinic, shopping malls, it's really tiring. Somehow I'm glad that i'm have almost settle like 80% of the matter. Now what i need to do is to bring the documents to the school and have it certified by the principal. Well, actually i have done this last week ago, but i came back empty headed. The school secretary wouldn't sign it for me, as they claimed that my documents were too thick and they were only able to sign 10 pieces only. I was like wtf, what's wrong with you? and they even ask me to bring all my documents to the district office and ask the superior there to certify it. FINE. Lousiest school ever. You're not the only school in Miri what. ==

And just one week more, I'll be leaving this little town. Words can't describe how i feel, neither i'm happy or sad. Well maybe 51% of my being feels sad. I think i will miss the people here, the food here and the time that i have spent in here. And  I'm afraid of how am i going to adapt with the environment there. Lots of worries. sigh. But this is all about growing up. and I'm not going to complaint about it. Just that, I'm still afraid. I really hope that i can survive through the four years. Fingers crossed.

time flies.

Remember few months ago, i complaint how much i hated the jobs that i had, and couldn't wait to stop it? Well, i couldn't believe, how fast can the time travel, and it's now August!

And yesterday was the last day i'll be teaching the kids. Part of me wished the lessons would end quickly but part of me felt sad. 

It seems like it was just yesterday, but i have been teaching them for 8 months. LOL, totally unbelievable. This is the first time i ever worked, and i remember how hard it is to keep the kids' mouths shut, how frustrated it is when they get marks below your expectation, how angry you are when they just forget what you taught them. Well, no matter how hard it is, it is all OVER now. I'm kinda relieved that i manage to pull through these months, and though it was really frustrating at certain points, but still i will forever treasure the memories that i had with the kids. =)

Being able to sit down in front of my lappy and wrote update about my blog, is such a blessing. I mean i'm on the edge of neglecting my own blog ever since i work, i got no extra time to spare, and i'm swamped by worksheets and stuff. And i am able to take a break now! feel so good for being able to be able to put my foot down for a while. 

I don't know why, but i was constantly reminded of the past old days. Like today's weather remind me how i would follow my mom's to the town and have some ice kacang after school few years ago. When i indulge myself in some novels that i recently bought, i was reminded how i spent a few restless night constantly reading TWILIGHT SAGA. When i take a stroll around the area near my house,i was reminded how i  would walk home with my friends after a session of badminton practise, cursing the teacher who scolded us for not playing well. When i see a group of teenage school house walking past my house,i was quickly reminded how me and my friends would walk together to the restaurant nearby and had quick lunch. Those are the past old days that I had, and even though it seems like a tiniest matter ever, but it was the halcyon days that i missed the most, and i  really did. There are times i wish i could go back, and be the girl who worried about nothing. When you are still a small kid, you wish you can grow up faster and do things that only adults can do. But when you are already a grown ups, you wish you know how to time travel and stays forever a child.