Waiting to be loved.

Time flies, now that my second semester has finally ended.

Enough with the assignments, exams, osce, continuous assessment, presentations, I'm temporarily freed from these bullshit. Hooray for the temporary freedom. What's exciting when you know that the semester is coming to an end, it's that you get to go home.

Being a girl who never leave home for 20 years, leaving home to pursue my studies got me cry like a baby when I spent the first night alone in the room. I hated leaving my home behind, but I have to deal with the feeling of leaving home for 4 years again. TT

Speaking of this semester, it has been a really hectic one, imagine the first day our lecturer has already given us the assignment guideline, we have video shooting and other stuff to do, I almost think that I couldn't make it through the semester, there are times I think of quitting my course, pursue other field that is less tiring. But then I think there are reasons why I chose this course in the first place, and whatever that is I should continue study and serve the people. 

Speaking of serving the people, posting in the hospital was actually more fun compare to semester one. This semester we are able to do dressing, injection, intravenous therapy and a lot more. It is definitely much more challenging compare to the first semester. It's tiring, but it's fun, but there are times which I couldn't deal with death and there are times I almost broken into tears when seeing the patient's family members cried. People says it's really challenging to be a nurse, and yes it is.

Enough with the posting stuff, it's really good to back in town, I mean I'm able to enjoy myself literally doing nothing at home, I have mom's cooking as my dinner, though it's just simple dishes, but It's what I crave for during the whole time I'm in KL. I'm able to see my friends whom I didn't see in a long time, and I really miss them. People said you will met tons of friends when you are in university, and sometimes they are the most sincere friends you will ever met, it might be true, but for me, my best friends would always be the one I met during my high school time. I have missed those time spent in Chinese class, we make fun of each other, telling each other dirty jokes, then we would had lunch together before the Chinese class, and then the love birds would sit in pair started to have their chit chat. I missed those moments, those are the best moments in my life. 

Turning 21 is a big deal for certain people. For some people, 21 means you can do decisions on your own, and for some people, 21 is a big turning point in your life, you're no longer a child and it's time to start doing things on your own and be responsible for yourself. But I'm sure it's pretty much another way round for my mom. Ever since i turned 21, she's been asking me things like whether I have met some nice guys in campus, or particularly some handsome nice doctor since I'm in the Faculty of Medicine. She even gave me some advice on things like THE KIND OF BOYS YOU SHOULDN'T DATE. When she learnt that most of my friends are owned, she would always said: Do you have one? And then I will be like roll my eyes until my eyeballs would drop and then just ignore her.  Maybe for her, me turning 21 is like turning 51 for her. I do not know whether I'm going to end up dying alone or not, but seeing my mom worried like that I'm worried as well. Unlike my friends, I'm not the type of person who would take the initiative to open up and speaks first,except if I'm with my real best friends. When I'm surrounded with strangers, I'm usually quiet and reserved, so honestly, I don't really make a lot of friends in University, except for my course mates. So due to my personality it's really hard for me to expand for social circle, and sadly speaking my social circle is only as big as a single 5 cent, that's just how pathetic I am, but those who stayed in my circle are the one who truly care about me, so I guess I'm not that pathetic at all. =) I asked my friend how the hell did they got themselves a boyfriend, some of them told me : Sometimes, you need to forget about your dignity by taking the first moves. Well, they make it sounds like easy, but for me it's like 10 times harder than holding a frog or lizard with my bare hands. I really envy them for the courage they have, to chase after someone they love, which it really is something that I'm lacking of.  I mean I used to have crush on guys when I'm in high school, but it always ended up with one sided love, which the guy don't even know there's a girl like me exist, and actually have a crush on him, they won't even know even they are 6 feet under the ground, haha. Maybe you will think that I'm  too silly for not confessing, but you never know for God's sake I had think about it for gazillion times! But I'm too timid to do so, and I always have this kind of imagination where I confessed but the guy rejected me. I mean, unlike my friends, I'm not even pretty or fair, neither I have body like Miranda Kerr's, I'm just nobody, and it's not weird for me getting rejected. So, until now, even if I have liked someone, I would rather keep it as a secret, because I wasn't sure what the answer that he gives will be the answer that I always wanted to hear if I ever tell him my feelings. Or maybe I will just wait until he discover a nobody like me and confess to me, Laugh-Out-Loud, maybe I should stop building castle in the air. Anyway, gonna stop writing here, didn't expect it's gonna be this long, spent my whole afternoon writing on this post, purely just because I don't feel like abandoning this blog which I started writing years and years ago. =) Adios readers, and have a nice day ahead.