i once thought that this only happen when i am officially a grownup
and yes, i happened to be a grownup now. well, maybe half-grownup. haha. =)
future, something so close and yet so far for me.
knowing nothing about myself, and what i want to achieve it's hard for me to decide what i wanna do in the future.
seeing other people are so confident and their persistence in making their dream comes true, make me wanna cry actually. TT
my parents want me to become what they want me to become, and does that mean that i have to obey their will even if i don't want to? Dilemma. =(
especially my father, he has a really high expectation on me, which makes me even more frustrated. i couldn't bear to see the disappointment on his face, and my mother's as well.
they've always wanted me to become a doctor. and yes, i wish i could too. i mean, hey it's DOCTOR. it's a huge dream! but, could someone like me be a doctor. and knowing someone's life is depending on my hands, is eerie! what if i couldn't.....well, i mean what if.. that's why i always shut my mouth and be as quiet as possible when my parents talk about my future occupation. well, i know everything has it's own risk, but i just couldn't stop myself from thinking the bad things. but i really hope i can be a doctor. i really do. but i'm scared actually. =(((( so what should i do? maybe i should seek for a consultant service x(
p/s: dear kelly,
sorry ! i didn't reply your text last night, because i fall asleep as soon as i lied on the bed..haha, well you know nothing can stop me when it comes to SLEEP. well, we both are on the same boat. we are in the middle of the ocean. don't know where to go. hoping someone else could notice us and save us from this misery. But, i know one day we will head to the right direction and get out of this azure and yet crystal clear ocean. I KNOW WE WILL as every cloud has a silver lining. so just keep holding on, until the day comes.and by that time, we should've go on our separate ways. ='( sob...
Love,
Yun Qian.
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