选择

升上了中六，我以为我不会再跟华文这个科目有接触了。那时候还没进中六之前，朋友问我要不要报考华文。说真的，那时候我犹豫了片刻。我不是没听说过中六的华文有多难考，也不是没听过有多少对华文有一股热诚的学生最终因为华文太难考而打退堂鼓。但，那都是旧一批考生所遇到的问题，那我们这一批的中六生是用新的学期制来考试，我想以上的问题应该不会出现，而且当时我spm的华文那一科也得了A，中六的华文应该难不倒我吧……而我就因为这样的“自以为是”的跟朋友确定说我会报考华文。当然申请报考华文的过程不是容易的，因为我们的热诚不断被一些脑残的人打压。在他们的眼里，华文是多余的一科，在他们的眼里，华文是一个对未来没有用的科目。所以当那里的学生听到我们要报考华文后，他们几乎用不可思议的眼神来看我们。也许在他们的眼中，我们真的是不知死的一群人。到后来我们正式拿到课本的时候，我才知道为什么那么多人读到一半就选择退出了。因为它跟我们之前所读的华文，简直是天差地远。那密密麻麻的字，那不曾见过的名字……所有所有的一切，说真的，是真的很辛苦……看到自己上一学期的成绩，更是给我泼了一桶冷水。

不知道是不是人们说的，当你长大后，以后你思考的模式也会跟着改变。要是以前的我，一定会为这成绩臭着脸一个星期。但是，我想通了。不要为成绩而活。对，我们是学生，所以我们的这责任就是把书读好，没错。但是现在很多人都是为了成绩而读书。无可否认，好的成绩能让你进到你梦寐以求的大学和你想要读的科系，但是成绩不是你生命的全部。读书只是一个过程，只要自己尽力了，那又有什么遗憾可言？

对于华语跟其他的科目，我也是保持着这样的态度，我不要考到最好，我只求尽自己的力做到最好。有人曾经问过我：“做么你要读华文？华文有什么用？反正会说就好了 。” 那我可以跟你说：“因为我是华人。因为我是个不忘根，不忘本的华人，也因为我的身体里流着华人的血。为什么要报考华文？容易啊，难道你要等土著来考华文？会说基本的华语就好？那你跟会说华文的土著、印度人有什么分别？”

很可悲的是，华文已成为英文以外，最常受用的语言，就连老外也争着要学华文，而我们身旁却还有一些老说华文是个读来没用的科目的人。我们的祖先从中国过来马来西亚，他们虽然在这边工作，但是他们有忘过他们的根吗？他们没有。反而还极力争取以华文来做教学语言而做了许多的努力。但是你看看，现在有多少个人上了中学还会报考华文？就因为华文不是个正课所以就没有必要报考？就因为没有时间就不用读？那我问你，你用来上网的时间就不是时间？跟朋友聊天的时间就不是时间？时间是腾出来的，就看你有没有心罢了。

所以，各位，当你鄙视华文的同时，也请你看看你身份证，上面是不是写着cina，如果是的话那就请你三思。因为你鄙视的华文同时也在鄙视你自己。当你在鄙视一些报考华文，但不是考到很好的成绩的同学时，请你想一想，你有报考的勇气吗？当你一个学期要应付五个科目的时候，那种辛苦你体会得到了吗？没一个星期只上一次，而且还没有固定的地方上课，那种居无定所的心情，你们体会得到吗？你要笑我们？可以。但是请你也跟考试局报考华文，看你考什么成绩出来再来笑我。:D 有时候不是做每一件事情都要有一个理由的，就像别人说的，喜欢就喜欢，有什么理由？有时候做一件事情就是要有一股傻劲，如果你永远只想要很安全的走完你人生的道路，那我可以很肯定的告诉你，你的人生会很无趣。

明天就是考试的第一天，第一科就是华文。战友们，加 油！这是我们选择的道路，所以最算跪着也要把路走完！我们也是许不是最聪明的，但我为你们感到骄傲！因为我们是不怕死的华人！加油！！！！！！！！！！ :D

random

it's 10.50pm right now and instead of going to sleep, I'm still wide awake, doing my last minute revision. I know study at the eleventh hour doesn't help you to improve your mark. But still it is much more better than doing nothing. Mom have been asking me to do my best. and I have already promised me i will, whatever the result is, i know i have already done my best. I don't really like the idea of the purpose of study is to get All A's in your examination,well i know the grades play a crucial parts in your life, but ones should not see grades as their whole life. Enjoy study, and study because u love it, not on behalf of your parents, siblings or friends.Ones should know very clearly whats the purpose of study and not to let examination, grades or results to overweight your passion. A good result will determine which college or university you are going in your future. But one must bear in mind it doesn't change your life or future 100%-ly.

be strong, my friend.

There's a guy in my class, always sat quietly at the corner of the classroom, sometime he would just give a blank stare at the teacher, or maybe sometime he would said something funny out of blue, and makes the class suddenly burst into laughter. Sometime he would just stay quiet and do his own thing in the class. I seldom talk to him, but i know he's a nice guy. But of what i heard today, looks like he has his own story. at first, i thought he was just like any other kids in the class, but i was wrong. But of all the things you have gone through, you manage to pull it through. When you told me what happen today, you acted like you have used to it already, somehow i saw tears brimming your eyes. I'm deeply sorry for what had happened. I Am. Not sure whether you are going to read this or not, but what i want to say is that, be strong my friend. if you ever, feel like you can carry this burden anymore, i can lend you my ears. :) and thinking that you have come through all the hardships these years, im sure that you have become a stronger person.

ever since i started my school day here, i am honest to tell you that i was never happy about it. when i first got in here, i thought this place has what my former school lack of---- a better study environment, better teaching sources and better facilities. But start from the first day i step into the school compound, that's when i realize there's a huge gap between reality and imagination, and at the same time that's when i realize that i will never be able to turn my head around  and walk out of here. I made my decision, and i'm going to face it. But you know there are times the phrase 'easier said than done' run through my brain, life is never easy, and especially when people see you as a weirdo and you are constantly being discriminated for who you are, what you do and where you're from. I seriously do not know that being myself is a wrong thing to do in here, i wanted to feel lazy once in a blue moon that i would just ignore my homework and assignments for a whole day and keep my eyes on the tv and do whatever i want to feel comfortable. But being comfortable is like a mission impossible in here as there's always some individuals who would constantly lecture you, give you a piece of his mind--- to remind you that you have no time to be lazy, and being lazy is definitely not your thing. Apart from that, you will always be reminded of your responsibilities, that your value can only be proven by your exam results. Here i sense many doses of sarcasm. So what we can score better in our examination? Does that makes us a better person? Does that help us the won the noble prize? So a rapist can be exempted from punishment as he a top scorer in school? LOL. A top scorer only indicates that you have brilliant answering teachnique in exams, and sadly, from what i have saw, not many top scorer know how to respect others. Maybe they are too carried away by their performance,  This is why i see nothing in this school as it doesn't look like how a  school would look like. I always see students carry books around, with a somehow depressed face, no interaction with people next to them. Even if they do, it's always about the questions they don't understand in their books. In my former school, we see people of different races mix together, chinese speaking malay or bahasa sarawak,and the malay learn to speak chinese. We might not be the most brilliant students ever, but it's the way that we mix with other people that makes us special and outstanding. We respect each other,  and we love to joke around with the teachers. The teachers here are more than just a teacher, they are our best friends, an individual who would lend us his or her hand when we are in a dire condition, a lighted candle in the dark that will show us the way when we are lost, a consultant that will always provide us the best advice when we needed someone to guide us. But here, i saw teachers who are doing his or her job quietly and i've seen no teachers would try to stand up and defense their students to fight for the students rights. But, time has proven that my hope are just a waste of time. I originally hope that this place is going to groom me into a better person, but instead of that, this place disappointed me. last but not least, all i want to say is that i might not be the best students in there, i might not be the most hardworking people in there,   and i do not have Albert Einstein's IQ, but i am who i am. and i'm proud of myself, and i will always be proud of who i am. :)

laughter is the best medicine

i was once told by a classmate of mine that my laughter was so special and unique, in a way that when i laugh, the people around me will start to laugh for no reason, even though it's the lamest jokes they have ever heard. upon hearing that, i feel a little bit delighted and overjoyed at the same time. You might ask me why would i be enlightened over a small compliment like that, for it is nothing special to be happy about. But you know what, this means a lot to me and it always will be. not because he praise at the way i laughed, it's because he said that i bring laughter to everybody else. this means a lot to me. as people have always said laughter is the best medicine to keep sorrow away, and if the people around me are able to put on the brightest smile on their faces despite how harsh the situation might be, that will be brilliant. we never know what might happen in the next minutes, but whatever it is, face it with positive attitude and let's spread the laughing virus to everybody else in the world, let the world be filled with joy and laughter. :)

a better future, for you and me.

all we ever want is a better place to live in the future. A place where people respect each other, love each other despite of their skin colours, believes and religious view. A place where there is no corruption, no discrimination, and accusations. A place which is free from pollution and harmful radiation. A place where people live together peacefully, where by the people are lead by wise leader. Is it so hard to seek for justice? sigh, disappointed.