ever since i started my school day here, i am honest to tell you that i was never happy about it. when i first got in here, i thought this place has what my former school lack of---- a better study environment, better teaching sources and better facilities. But start from the first day i step into the school compound, that's when i realize there's a huge gap between reality and imagination, and at the same time that's when i realize that i will never be able to turn my head around  and walk out of here. I made my decision, and i'm going to face it. But you know there are times the phrase 'easier said than done' run through my brain, life is never easy, and especially when people see you as a weirdo and you are constantly being discriminated for who you are, what you do and where you're from. I seriously do not know that being myself is a wrong thing to do in here, i wanted to feel lazy once in a blue moon that i would just ignore my homework and assignments for a whole day and keep my eyes on the tv and do whatever i want to feel comfortable. But being comfortable is like a mission impossible in here as there's always some individuals who would constantly lecture you, give you a piece of his mind--- to remind you that you have no time to be lazy, and being lazy is definitely not your thing. Apart from that, you will always be reminded of your responsibilities, that your value can only be proven by your exam results. Here i sense many doses of sarcasm. So what we can score better in our examination? Does that makes us a better person? Does that help us the won the noble prize? So a rapist can be exempted from punishment as he a top scorer in school? LOL. A top scorer only indicates that you have brilliant answering teachnique in exams, and sadly, from what i have saw, not many top scorer know how to respect others. Maybe they are too carried away by their performance,  This is why i see nothing in this school as it doesn't look like how a  school would look like. I always see students carry books around, with a somehow depressed face, no interaction with people next to them. Even if they do, it's always about the questions they don't understand in their books. In my former school, we see people of different races mix together, chinese speaking malay or bahasa sarawak,and the malay learn to speak chinese. We might not be the most brilliant students ever, but it's the way that we mix with other people that makes us special and outstanding. We respect each other,  and we love to joke around with the teachers. The teachers here are more than just a teacher, they are our best friends, an individual who would lend us his or her hand when we are in a dire condition, a lighted candle in the dark that will show us the way when we are lost, a consultant that will always provide us the best advice when we needed someone to guide us. But here, i saw teachers who are doing his or her job quietly and i've seen no teachers would try to stand up and defense their students to fight for the students rights. But, time has proven that my hope are just a waste of time. I originally hope that this place is going to groom me into a better person, but instead of that, this place disappointed me. last but not least, all i want to say is that i might not be the best students in there, i might not be the most hardworking people in there,   and i do not have Albert Einstein's IQ, but i am who i am. and i'm proud of myself, and i will always be proud of who i am. :)