three days left until the doomsday arrive. i've tried my best to ignore the date, but every time i wake up, my mind just remind me that i'm getting closer to the day, the day i wish that will never ever come. 
oh god i'm doomed. btw, don't you think that emoticon is just adorable, can't resist its cuteness though.haha, okay back to the topic. i had a bad dream last night, i have no idea whether i should keep this dream inside or maybe i should talk to someone about this dream i had last night. i know this is kinda superstitious but some of the Chinese do believe that dreams are going to come true if you never reveal it to a single person. i don't want it to come true but i'm scare of letting people know about this dream or hallucination i had, in fact it's really embarassing to talk about it.
for most of you maybe it's not a bad one, but for me, i have a high expectation on myself so i consider it as a bad bad bad super bad sign.
<---; like this, very very bad. despite the dilemmas and hardships i'm going through inside of me, i think i should be positive about the results. not like i'm positive about getting a good ones, but i should be positive-minded about my results. (now i realize how good i am when i'm comforting others, but when i'm the one who need to be comforted, i just suck at cheering myself up.) optimism is what i craved for my entire life, but somehow it's something beyond my approachable area. i want to be an optimistic person, in which i could just smile and embrace the failures i made in my life, and admit that it was part of me that it actually made me a better person.but instead, i grew up with a friend called 'pessimist'.
what a sad case. TT thus, the anxiety is killing me inside, bye readers. i'm mentally ill. 
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