时间匆匆，不知不觉大学第二年就这样结束了。这个学期比上个学期的压力还要更大，但是，很庆幸自己挺过来了!当然，这个学期里也遇到不少奇葩，例如：总是能够想到理由不做assignment 的奇葩、把网站的文章整篇抄下来可是citation又没有做的奇葩、assignment会准时交给你可是做的东西像大便还要你帮忙做过的奇葩等等...... 有时候真的很想赏他们两巴掌让他们醒醒，可是想想，还要跟这群人相处两年，没必要把关系搞到那么僵还好我的心脏够强，不然我真的睡棺材了，哈哈！
现在的我正享受我的假期。在考试的期间，明明已经计划好了回到家里要做这个，做那个，吃这个没吃过的， 结果回到家里最常做的事情——窝在家里当宅女。其实有超多事情想做的，但就是找不到人陪我去想去的地方，吃我想吃的东西，久而久之，就变得哪里都不想去。做这些事情就是要说走就走才好玩嘛，可是就是找不到人咯。哎，说好的Tusan Beach 也还没去到， 真的觉得这个假期要报废了，什么事情都没做到！这种时候就会特别想念那个说走就走的朋友，以前都是他带着我们到处趴趴走的说。哎，真的很想念以前读书的时候，当时想要去哪里就去哪里，虽然没有交通但是大家都会想办法解决交通的问题。现在大伙儿都出社会了，有的则在读大学，想要约一个时间大家一起出去聚一聚真的是难上加难...... 这个假期感觉真的过的很不快乐。我也说不起来哪里不快乐。感觉很像只有我一个人回来罢了。哎......
在家里除了当宅女之外， 我也充当我表弟的保姆。有时候老妈忙不过来的时候，我就会帮忙表弟冲凉、喂他吃饭等等。虽然有时候他很顽皮，把家里弄得乱七八糟，而且有时候还会乱乱打人，可是我还是乐在其中。可能这就是小孩子的魔力吧！有时候逗到他笑的时候，真的会有一股满足感，看到他做一些傻事的时候就会笑到肚子痛，看到他开始会说很多单词的时候，真的比谁都还要开心。哈哈！不知道的人还以为他是我儿子叻。不过还好有他，我这个假期也过的比较快乐些。
Wednesday, July 13, 2016
Saturday, February 20, 2016
最快乐的回忆
还有多几天就开学了。一想到要回去上课心里就非常非常的纳闷。
其实不是不喜欢那个地方，读书的地方远比自己的家乡繁华、进步很多，也有许多很好玩的地方。可是我还是喜欢家乡的宁静而不喧哗, 喜欢这里的人不分种族，与彼此和平相处.喜欢这里的人，事与物。每一次放假回来都会特别的期待，直到假期要结束了过后，又会带着依依不舍的心情回去。严重不喜欢这样的感觉。
昨天跟很久没有一起约出来的朋友一起出来吃晚餐，我们从7点正在那里坐着到9.30pm 才走。虽然平时不常联络、见面,但是一坐下来还有许多话题，感觉两个小时真的不够。从工作谈到八卦，再谈到人生终身大事，过程中一直捧腹大笑，原因是讲太多黄色笑话，哈哈哈哈哈！想念以前要一起约出去逛街什么的，大伙们都会出去。现在，读书的读书，做工的做工，要约一个时间出来见面叙旧真的不容易。所以特别珍惜这次大家能够一起出来拜年，吃个晚饭，叙叙旧。讲起以前做过的傻事的时候都会笑到像疯婆子，可是就是在他们的面前才可以不顾形象讲黄色笑话，然后笑到大大声这样子。
其实这班朋友是从中学就开始认识的。认识的过程中也没什么吵过架，吵过一次最严重的应该是中五的那一年吧。就为了一些鸡毛蒜皮的事情而吵架，吵到分帮去了。原以为大家毕业过后都不会再有联络，可是我也忘了怎么一回事，大伙儿又走在一起了。可能这就是所谓的缘分吧。
我还记得我们吵架那一年就是我们要毕业的那一年。不知道怎么一回事，就感觉那时候特别叛逆，总觉得大家都觉得我们是错的，所以那一年，特别想快点毕业，快点上大学。我还曾经跟我朋友夸口说：“我只想快点毕业，快点摆脱这个烂学校，快点上大学。” 现在上大学了，我反而想念那些年，我们一起走过的走廊，一起上过华文班的课室，一起在运动会当红星月会急救员的那个草场（还记得那时候有运动员晕倒，我们慢一步过去就会被骂到半死，哈哈！），还有一起卖东西的koperasi (工钱从一天50sen 起到RM1), 还有一起排书的spbt room (daphne 在里面放屁，哈哈哈哈哈）。以前我很讨厌我的中学时期，因为我不喜欢那烦人的校规。可是长大后，我才发现，那5年的时光是我一生忘也忘不了的，最快乐的回忆。
其实不是不喜欢那个地方，读书的地方远比自己的家乡繁华、进步很多，也有许多很好玩的地方。可是我还是喜欢家乡的宁静而不喧哗, 喜欢这里的人不分种族，与彼此和平相处.喜欢这里的人，事与物。每一次放假回来都会特别的期待，直到假期要结束了过后，又会带着依依不舍的心情回去。严重不喜欢这样的感觉。
昨天跟很久没有一起约出来的朋友一起出来吃晚餐，我们从7点正在那里坐着到9.30pm 才走。虽然平时不常联络、见面,但是一坐下来还有许多话题，感觉两个小时真的不够。从工作谈到八卦，再谈到人生终身大事，过程中一直捧腹大笑，原因是讲太多黄色笑话，哈哈哈哈哈！想念以前要一起约出去逛街什么的，大伙们都会出去。现在，读书的读书，做工的做工，要约一个时间出来见面叙旧真的不容易。所以特别珍惜这次大家能够一起出来拜年，吃个晚饭，叙叙旧。讲起以前做过的傻事的时候都会笑到像疯婆子，可是就是在他们的面前才可以不顾形象讲黄色笑话，然后笑到大大声这样子。
其实这班朋友是从中学就开始认识的。认识的过程中也没什么吵过架，吵过一次最严重的应该是中五的那一年吧。就为了一些鸡毛蒜皮的事情而吵架，吵到分帮去了。原以为大家毕业过后都不会再有联络，可是我也忘了怎么一回事，大伙儿又走在一起了。可能这就是所谓的缘分吧。
我还记得我们吵架那一年就是我们要毕业的那一年。不知道怎么一回事，就感觉那时候特别叛逆，总觉得大家都觉得我们是错的，所以那一年，特别想快点毕业，快点上大学。我还曾经跟我朋友夸口说：“我只想快点毕业，快点摆脱这个烂学校，快点上大学。” 现在上大学了，我反而想念那些年，我们一起走过的走廊，一起上过华文班的课室，一起在运动会当红星月会急救员的那个草场（还记得那时候有运动员晕倒，我们慢一步过去就会被骂到半死，哈哈！），还有一起卖东西的koperasi (工钱从一天50sen 起到RM1), 还有一起排书的spbt room (daphne 在里面放屁，哈哈哈哈哈）。以前我很讨厌我的中学时期，因为我不喜欢那烦人的校规。可是长大后，我才发现，那5年的时光是我一生忘也忘不了的，最快乐的回忆。
致那一年，青涩的我们。
友谊万岁。
Saturday, February 6, 2016
Tuesday, January 5, 2016
grumbling as usual
Hi readers, it's been a long time. It's 10.15pm and I'm supposed to be in bed, resting and sleeping, wake up early in the next morning and prepare for my test. But since my roommate still has the light on, and I can't sleep with the light on so I decided to write something here. It's been such a long time since my last post, which was last year, I suppose eh? Being a second-year university student is definitely much busier than I ever was in the first year, but I managed to survive anyway, 4 more papers to go, can't wait to finish the exam and head home after the examination is over, I miss my family and friends back in hometown.
Speaking of my first semester, there are a lot of changes compare to the year before. First, I sort of got kicked off from the hostel, well, I wasn't taking part on any activities in the hostel, so yeah, that was totally in my expectation. So I rented a room at a condominium, just across where the hospital located, 10 minutes of walking distance to the hospital. I doubt it's less than 10 minutes, coz it's always the busy traffic, you know have to wait for the cars to stop before I can cross the road. This just reminds me how busy the traffic is in KL, one of the reasons I hate Kuala Lumpur, No offense though, just saying. The rental is of course much more expensive than the hostel's rental fee, but since it's in KL, so ya'all can't expect cheap rental, LOL, but I would say the rental is still in acceptable range, with all the utilities provided and the space of the room, at least, I don't have to squeeze myself in a tiny room with people I barely know. The tenants here are quite friendly, but since most of them are working already, so we barely get to talk to each other, our schedule just don't fit. LOL, but we get along just well, no worries.
2015 has been a very special year for me, coz it's the year I officially ended my single life. Not quite sure how it happened in the first place, but it sort of just happened, LOL! We knew each other long time ago, but we were like really close only 2 to 3 years ago when we were in the same class during form 6. Back then he used to be a jerk who liked to tease me, well, he still does now, haha but it's his sense of humour that makes me like him more, but sometimes he said stupid things, though. OOOpsss, sorry, I still Love you, LOL!! Just like any other couple, we fight over some stupid little thing and it's always him being the first one to take a step back, enduring my bad attitude and my temper, which makes me feel bad coz I think that I'm really not a good girlfriend. I'm not used to saying something romantic and sweet, maybe it's because that's how I was brought up. When I heard my other friend calls her boyfriend, it makes me feel even worse. I feel like I should get 'the worst gf ever' in mankind history. TT But you know, I really appreciate the days we spend together and I really feel that I'm lucky enough to have you as my boyfriend, love you to the moon and back! xoxo.
Speaking of my first semester, there are a lot of changes compare to the year before. First, I sort of got kicked off from the hostel, well, I wasn't taking part on any activities in the hostel, so yeah, that was totally in my expectation. So I rented a room at a condominium, just across where the hospital located, 10 minutes of walking distance to the hospital. I doubt it's less than 10 minutes, coz it's always the busy traffic, you know have to wait for the cars to stop before I can cross the road. This just reminds me how busy the traffic is in KL, one of the reasons I hate Kuala Lumpur, No offense though, just saying. The rental is of course much more expensive than the hostel's rental fee, but since it's in KL, so ya'all can't expect cheap rental, LOL, but I would say the rental is still in acceptable range, with all the utilities provided and the space of the room, at least, I don't have to squeeze myself in a tiny room with people I barely know. The tenants here are quite friendly, but since most of them are working already, so we barely get to talk to each other, our schedule just don't fit. LOL, but we get along just well, no worries.
2015 has been a very special year for me, coz it's the year I officially ended my single life. Not quite sure how it happened in the first place, but it sort of just happened, LOL! We knew each other long time ago, but we were like really close only 2 to 3 years ago when we were in the same class during form 6. Back then he used to be a jerk who liked to tease me, well, he still does now, haha but it's his sense of humour that makes me like him more, but sometimes he said stupid things, though. OOOpsss, sorry, I still Love you, LOL!! Just like any other couple, we fight over some stupid little thing and it's always him being the first one to take a step back, enduring my bad attitude and my temper, which makes me feel bad coz I think that I'm really not a good girlfriend. I'm not used to saying something romantic and sweet, maybe it's because that's how I was brought up. When I heard my other friend calls her boyfriend, it makes me feel even worse. I feel like I should get 'the worst gf ever' in mankind history. TT But you know, I really appreciate the days we spend together and I really feel that I'm lucky enough to have you as my boyfriend, love you to the moon and back! xoxo.
Thursday, July 9, 2015
Waiting to be loved.
Time flies, now that my second semester has finally ended.
Enough with the assignments, exams, osce, continuous assessment, presentations, I'm temporarily freed from these bullshit. Hooray for the temporary freedom. What's exciting when you know that the semester is coming to an end, it's that you get to go home.
Being a girl who never leave home for 20 years, leaving home to pursue my studies got me cry like a baby when I spent the first night alone in the room. I hated leaving my home behind, but I have to deal with the feeling of leaving home for 4 years again. TT
Speaking of this semester, it has been a really hectic one, imagine the first day our lecturer has already given us the assignment guideline, we have video shooting and other stuff to do, I almost think that I couldn't make it through the semester, there are times I think of quitting my course, pursue other field that is less tiring. But then I think there are reasons why I chose this course in the first place, and whatever that is I should continue study and serve the people.
Speaking of serving the people, posting in the hospital was actually more fun compare to semester one. This semester we are able to do dressing, injection, intravenous therapy and a lot more. It is definitely much more challenging compare to the first semester. It's tiring, but it's fun, but there are times which I couldn't deal with death and there are times I almost broken into tears when seeing the patient's family members cried. People says it's really challenging to be a nurse, and yes it is.
Enough with the posting stuff, it's really good to back in town, I mean I'm able to enjoy myself literally doing nothing at home, I have mom's cooking as my dinner, though it's just simple dishes, but It's what I crave for during the whole time I'm in KL. I'm able to see my friends whom I didn't see in a long time, and I really miss them. People said you will met tons of friends when you are in university, and sometimes they are the most sincere friends you will ever met, it might be true, but for me, my best friends would always be the one I met during my high school time. I have missed those time spent in Chinese class, we make fun of each other, telling each other dirty jokes, then we would had lunch together before the Chinese class, and then the love birds would sit in pair started to have their chit chat. I missed those moments, those are the best moments in my life.
Turning 21 is a big deal for certain people. For some people, 21 means you can do decisions on your own, and for some people, 21 is a big turning point in your life, you're no longer a child and it's time to start doing things on your own and be responsible for yourself. But I'm sure it's pretty much another way round for my mom. Ever since i turned 21, she's been asking me things like whether I have met some nice guys in campus, or particularly some handsome nice doctor since I'm in the Faculty of Medicine. She even gave me some advice on things like THE KIND OF BOYS YOU SHOULDN'T DATE. When she learnt that most of my friends are owned, she would always said: Do you have one? And then I will be like roll my eyes until my eyeballs would drop and then just ignore her. Maybe for her, me turning 21 is like turning 51 for her. I do not know whether I'm going to end up dying alone or not, but seeing my mom worried like that I'm worried as well. Unlike my friends, I'm not the type of person who would take the initiative to open up and speaks first,except if I'm with my real best friends. When I'm surrounded with strangers, I'm usually quiet and reserved, so honestly, I don't really make a lot of friends in University, except for my course mates. So due to my personality it's really hard for me to expand for social circle, and sadly speaking my social circle is only as big as a single 5 cent, that's just how pathetic I am, but those who stayed in my circle are the one who truly care about me, so I guess I'm not that pathetic at all. =) I asked my friend how the hell did they got themselves a boyfriend, some of them told me : Sometimes, you need to forget about your dignity by taking the first moves. Well, they make it sounds like easy, but for me it's like 10 times harder than holding a frog or lizard with my bare hands. I really envy them for the courage they have, to chase after someone they love, which it really is something that I'm lacking of. I mean I used to have crush on guys when I'm in high school, but it always ended up with one sided love, which the guy don't even know there's a girl like me exist, and actually have a crush on him, they won't even know even they are 6 feet under the ground, haha. Maybe you will think that I'm too silly for not confessing, but you never know for God's sake I had think about it for gazillion times! But I'm too timid to do so, and I always have this kind of imagination where I confessed but the guy rejected me. I mean, unlike my friends, I'm not even pretty or fair, neither I have body like Miranda Kerr's, I'm just nobody, and it's not weird for me getting rejected. So, until now, even if I have liked someone, I would rather keep it as a secret, because I wasn't sure what the answer that he gives will be the answer that I always wanted to hear if I ever tell him my feelings. Or maybe I will just wait until he discover a nobody like me and confess to me, Laugh-Out-Loud, maybe I should stop building castle in the air. Anyway, gonna stop writing here, didn't expect it's gonna be this long, spent my whole afternoon writing on this post, purely just because I don't feel like abandoning this blog which I started writing years and years ago. =) Adios readers, and have a nice day ahead.
Friday, January 23, 2015
Hometown Diary
After months and months of struggling and torture in the University, finally I'm back to my hometown! Being able to go back to where I belong, is the happiest thing that ever happen to my life.
My schedule is packed ever since I came back from KL, it's either family time or gathering with friends. Just last night, we had a small gathering with form 6 classmates, and though like almost half of them couldn't make it to the gathering, but still we had a blast. We shared our experience in the university and silly things that we had encountered in the campus, and laugh like a bunch of maniacs. It was silly, but it's the best moment in my life.
I was happy that I'm back here, but at the same time I feel like I'm forgetting something. Maybe I was too occupied with the assignments and clinical posting and stuff, i started to forget about those little things that matter to me in the past. I don't forget things easily, but i guess my brain is procrastinating by blocking those important memories of mine.
Sometimes, I wonder what if I make a different choice in the first place. What if I choose to go for private university in the first place with my SPM result and choose another course which is totally different from nursing instead of choosing stpm. I wonder am I going to be a different person from who I am today. Sometimes my mom will grumble over the future that I chose and said that I could have chosen something better with my capability. And sometimes what she said make me doubt that whether I have done the right thing in the first place. Yes, it's what want. But sometimes it just make me wonder that will my life be better if i have made a different choice, regardless in studies, or other aspects of my life.
Thursday, January 15, 2015
life in university II
Time flies, it has been months since I fly to KL to study here. Remember how torturing it is during the my first night in the hostel. I ended up crying all night in the room, missing my mom and everyone in the family. And now it has been months I'm here, still trying my best to adapt to the surrounding and the people here. Being a girl who live in a small city, KL is a bit too much for me. I mean it's a great place to shop and a great place to spend your holidays, but it's definitely not an ideal place to live in. Well, it's my personal opinion though, it's just that hustle and bustle of the city is a bit too much to take, I rather live in a place where the air is fresh to breath, a place where we could still see greenies at the road side instead of big buildings and skyscraper. All in all, nothing is better than Miri, and I miss being in Sarawak.
The people here, well not going to say much. But I would say I don't make a lot of friends here, except my course mates. I'm rather close with them compare to the friends of mine who are in other course. Well, time itself is a problem and being busy with studies and clinical posting is a problem also. I wouldn't blame them for not finding me coz I know they are busy as well. But seeing others who know exactly everybody in the hostel despite the fact that they are studying in different courses, well it does makes me feel like a weirdo. A weirdo who don't have friends, a weirdo who rather stuck in her room instead of going out to make new friends. Because I know that I'm going to be the one who is not going to talk whenever i meet new people, so I will ended up being left out in the corner and staring at my own phones instead of talking to people. All the other people are good in socializing unlike me, they can talk like they knew each other for a long time even though they just met for the first time. So in the end, I'm a turtle who refuse to stick out her head and stays inside her shell for all the time, as it's the only way that she feels herself is completely protected and secured. But luckily all my course mates are really nice despite the fact that we came from different places, and are of different races and different religion. But I'm glad that we are able to mix around together and share jokes and laugh like a maniac together. It's a kind of experience that I don't really get to experience when I'm back in Sarawak as most of my friends are Chinese. Though I really envy those who can make a lot of friends with other, but in the end, what matters the most is that having friends that are truly sincere to you is what that matters.
Being a novice, a year one semester one nursing student, I faced a lot of hardships during my clinical posting time, I have 6 weeks of clinical posting, and this saturday will be the last day of my clinical posting. I can't believe I actually survived this 6 torturing weeks. Being the fact that we are a nursing students who are doing their degree studies and the fact that we are degree students who has 0 experience in dealing with patients, we faced a lot of prejudice from the staff nurse. well not all of them are bad la, just particular some.LOL. Talking to us in an impolite ways are their style, and our daily routine is to suck it up, no matter how bad their attitude is. At first, we feel very depressed. But I think we are getting used to it already, well you gotta learn to adapt to the environment if you wish to survive. No matter how hard it was during this 6 weeks, I have never tell my mom a single word about the hardships that me and friends are going through. I guess that's what growing up is all about: You tell your parents you are fine even though you're not so they will not worry about you. There are times I feel like want to give up and I even doubt myself whether I have chosen the right thing or not. Sigh, I guess my life has something to say to me: WELCOME TO THE ADULT WORLD.
The people here, well not going to say much. But I would say I don't make a lot of friends here, except my course mates. I'm rather close with them compare to the friends of mine who are in other course. Well, time itself is a problem and being busy with studies and clinical posting is a problem also. I wouldn't blame them for not finding me coz I know they are busy as well. But seeing others who know exactly everybody in the hostel despite the fact that they are studying in different courses, well it does makes me feel like a weirdo. A weirdo who don't have friends, a weirdo who rather stuck in her room instead of going out to make new friends. Because I know that I'm going to be the one who is not going to talk whenever i meet new people, so I will ended up being left out in the corner and staring at my own phones instead of talking to people. All the other people are good in socializing unlike me, they can talk like they knew each other for a long time even though they just met for the first time. So in the end, I'm a turtle who refuse to stick out her head and stays inside her shell for all the time, as it's the only way that she feels herself is completely protected and secured. But luckily all my course mates are really nice despite the fact that we came from different places, and are of different races and different religion. But I'm glad that we are able to mix around together and share jokes and laugh like a maniac together. It's a kind of experience that I don't really get to experience when I'm back in Sarawak as most of my friends are Chinese. Though I really envy those who can make a lot of friends with other, but in the end, what matters the most is that having friends that are truly sincere to you is what that matters.
Being a novice, a year one semester one nursing student, I faced a lot of hardships during my clinical posting time, I have 6 weeks of clinical posting, and this saturday will be the last day of my clinical posting. I can't believe I actually survived this 6 torturing weeks. Being the fact that we are a nursing students who are doing their degree studies and the fact that we are degree students who has 0 experience in dealing with patients, we faced a lot of prejudice from the staff nurse. well not all of them are bad la, just particular some.LOL. Talking to us in an impolite ways are their style, and our daily routine is to suck it up, no matter how bad their attitude is. At first, we feel very depressed. But I think we are getting used to it already, well you gotta learn to adapt to the environment if you wish to survive. No matter how hard it was during this 6 weeks, I have never tell my mom a single word about the hardships that me and friends are going through. I guess that's what growing up is all about: You tell your parents you are fine even though you're not so they will not worry about you. There are times I feel like want to give up and I even doubt myself whether I have chosen the right thing or not. Sigh, I guess my life has something to say to me: WELCOME TO THE ADULT WORLD.
Friday, September 12, 2014
life in university.
31.08.2014--- The day that I officially left my hometown. I saw my friends broke down into tears when she hugged her parents, but I didn't. KLIA is definitely bigger than Miri Airport, and I almost got lost in it, But thanks for the signboard, we somehow got out of the airport safely, but NO UM staff is to be seen. So we waited for hours, then finally the staff arrived. and after hours and hours of waiting, the bus finally came. It was quite a distance from the airport to the university. they say KL is well developed, but it's somehow different from what I thought. I was the first one to got off the bus as I'm staying in the first residential college, and somehow I'm the ONLY ONE in the bus that stayed in the hostel. TT I waited there for the senior in my college to pick me up, I expected they to be friendly, but i was greeted with a plump guy with a stern expression. Though I was a bit nervous, but I still managed to say:"Hi."。 But speaking the truth, I'm terrified by his look , he looked like he's a tough one. Then I was greeted by another three seniors, two guys, one girl. They asked me to fill in some application forms before I get to see my room. Okay, here comes the highlight. I must say, the moment i enter my room, I was really disappointed. Somehow I didn't expect the room to be this old. Put aside the facilities, the floor tiles looked like those toilet mosaic tiles. Duhh. But what can I do, I'm gonna stay here for one year, so I'm just gonna deal with it. I was the first one to arrive in my room, so like it or not, I get to spend the night alone. Then, before I could realize it, the tears already started to roll down my cheeks. I miss home, I miss mom, I miss my dad, I miss my family, I miss my friends, I miss Miri. It was after shower, my mom called me. I thought I could pretend that I was okay. But my mom knew that I was crying, that was when I decided to let it all out. It's only the first night, and I already feel like want to go home. I wonder what will happen to me next?
01.09.2014-06.09.2014----- Orientation started. I must say making new friends is a lot harder than I thought. Of all the freshies here, 80% were graduated from matriculation, which in turn says that they were younger than me by one year. Okay, fact accepted. Since most of them graduated from matriculation, so some of them already knew each other, and what happened next? They form a pack. And I'm like the only Alien there, sitting alone, do all the stuff alone. But it was only for the first three days. I managed to meet some new friends, but not really like best friend kind of best friend. It's kinda hard for me to open up to someone I just met, and it's even harder for me to fake to laugh at jokes they told, which is not funny at all. Not to say some of them are really mean, especially the popular girls, So I rather be alone, than mix with the wrong people just to make myself seem less forever alone. That's not me. The conclusion is, it's really hard to meet someone who can be genuinely nice to you, so for me I'll just do my part well. Albeit the girls and friends stuff, the orientation was rather fun. I love the facilitators, how humourous they are, but they could be really strict as well. This orientation week is definitely gonna be the days that I wouldn't forget for the rest of my life. I managed to join the choir team for my college, and luckily we won the first prize! LOL. never expect this at all. There are some hot facilitators that I saw, and when I say they are hot, they are literally hot and cute! But due to my introverted personality, I wasn't able get to talk to them. I wish I could a little bit more braver, to be the first one to speak, instead of sitting there and envy those who can mix with others easily. =(
08.09.2014-08.09.2014---- Class started. My course has the least intake of students of all the courses under faculty of medicine, guess what only 17 people in the class. LOL. But this makes it easier for me to mix around, though some of them are from different states, different religions, but i'm really glad that we can mix around really well. And I'm really surprise that there are three sarawakian! Finally i met someone who's from the same state as me! It's easier for me to mix around with the sarawakian. LOL. Oh yeah, and we have assignment and presentation as soon as the class was conducted. As much as I hate it, I need to finish it on time. Haiz. Hopefully I'm able to pull through this 4 years. this freaking 4 years.
01.09.2014-06.09.2014----- Orientation started. I must say making new friends is a lot harder than I thought. Of all the freshies here, 80% were graduated from matriculation, which in turn says that they were younger than me by one year. Okay, fact accepted. Since most of them graduated from matriculation, so some of them already knew each other, and what happened next? They form a pack. And I'm like the only Alien there, sitting alone, do all the stuff alone. But it was only for the first three days. I managed to meet some new friends, but not really like best friend kind of best friend. It's kinda hard for me to open up to someone I just met, and it's even harder for me to fake to laugh at jokes they told, which is not funny at all. Not to say some of them are really mean, especially the popular girls, So I rather be alone, than mix with the wrong people just to make myself seem less forever alone. That's not me. The conclusion is, it's really hard to meet someone who can be genuinely nice to you, so for me I'll just do my part well. Albeit the girls and friends stuff, the orientation was rather fun. I love the facilitators, how humourous they are, but they could be really strict as well. This orientation week is definitely gonna be the days that I wouldn't forget for the rest of my life. I managed to join the choir team for my college, and luckily we won the first prize! LOL. never expect this at all. There are some hot facilitators that I saw, and when I say they are hot, they are literally hot and cute! But due to my introverted personality, I wasn't able get to talk to them. I wish I could a little bit more braver, to be the first one to speak, instead of sitting there and envy those who can mix with others easily. =(
08.09.2014-08.09.2014---- Class started. My course has the least intake of students of all the courses under faculty of medicine, guess what only 17 people in the class. LOL. But this makes it easier for me to mix around, though some of them are from different states, different religions, but i'm really glad that we can mix around really well. And I'm really surprise that there are three sarawakian! Finally i met someone who's from the same state as me! It's easier for me to mix around with the sarawakian. LOL. Oh yeah, and we have assignment and presentation as soon as the class was conducted. As much as I hate it, I need to finish it on time. Haiz. Hopefully I'm able to pull through this 4 years. this freaking 4 years.
Monday, August 25, 2014
忐忑，不舍
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倒数六天。
倒数六天，我就要离开这个我爱的城市，到另一片土地去求学了。
长这么大，还是第一次到那么远的地方去求学。
此刻的心情真的很复杂，既紧张又忐忑。既期待又不舍。
紧张，因为我不知道我会不会在大学里遇到一个能够与我无所不谈的知己。
这几天，老妈一直再三叮咛我去到那里要戴眼镜识人，不要轻易相信别人。
果然，长大后的世界真的很不一样。
长大了，你会发现大部分的人都是自私的。不会有人会天真到不计较回报为你付出一切，每一个人都是自私的个体。在一个这样的群体生活，对别人有所保留也许是最好的自卫方法。
也许，长大教会我们的就是连最基本的信任都不可以轻易给人吧。
不舍，是因为我要离开家人，朋友还有这片充满回忆的土地，去到一个陌生的城市。
“外面的世界很精彩，外面的世界很无奈。” 出去见见世面固然好，但是只怕自己无时无刻都在想家。想念妈妈的唠叨，虽然大部分时间我都觉得她的唠叨很烦人。想念因为作弄妹妹而白眼我的那一刻。想念跟朋友一起出去，一起互相吐槽，一起讲黄色笑话，一起笑到像个疯子。
如果我在那里讲黄色笑话，我看我应该会被人认为是个不折不扣的色女。lol!
我知道我不该把升学看作是个很可怕的事情。我也希望自己能够在那里交到真心的朋友，开心地度过那四年。=) 大家一起加油吧
Tuesday, August 19, 2014
afraid
And here i am, sitting in front of m blog, writing about the stuff that i'm busy with lately.
I'm trying to prepare stuff that is need to enter the university, and last week had been a really hectic week for me. I went out in the morning, and come back in the evening, been outside for the whole day. Went to the bank, the clinic, shopping malls, it's really tiring. Somehow I'm glad that i'm have almost settle like 80% of the matter. Now what i need to do is to bring the documents to the school and have it certified by the principal. Well, actually i have done this last week ago, but i came back empty headed. The school secretary wouldn't sign it for me, as they claimed that my documents were too thick and they were only able to sign 10 pieces only. I was like wtf, what's wrong with you? and they even ask me to bring all my documents to the district office and ask the superior there to certify it. FINE. Lousiest school ever. You're not the only school in Miri what. ==
And just one week more, I'll be leaving this little town. Words can't describe how i feel, neither i'm happy or sad. Well maybe 51% of my being feels sad. I think i will miss the people here, the food here and the time that i have spent in here. And I'm afraid of how am i going to adapt with the environment there. Lots of worries. sigh. But this is all about growing up. and I'm not going to complaint about it. Just that, I'm still afraid. I really hope that i can survive through the four years. Fingers crossed.
And just one week more, I'll be leaving this little town. Words can't describe how i feel, neither i'm happy or sad. Well maybe 51% of my being feels sad. I think i will miss the people here, the food here and the time that i have spent in here. And I'm afraid of how am i going to adapt with the environment there. Lots of worries. sigh. But this is all about growing up. and I'm not going to complaint about it. Just that, I'm still afraid. I really hope that i can survive through the four years. Fingers crossed.
Wednesday, August 6, 2014
time flies.
Remember few months ago, i complaint how much i hated the jobs that i had, and couldn't wait to stop it? Well, i couldn't believe, how fast can the time travel, and it's now August!
And yesterday was the last day i'll be teaching the kids. Part of me wished the lessons would end quickly but part of me felt sad.
It seems like it was just yesterday, but i have been teaching them for 8 months. LOL, totally unbelievable. This is the first time i ever worked, and i remember how hard it is to keep the kids' mouths shut, how frustrated it is when they get marks below your expectation, how angry you are when they just forget what you taught them. Well, no matter how hard it is, it is all OVER now. I'm kinda relieved that i manage to pull through these months, and though it was really frustrating at certain points, but still i will forever treasure the memories that i had with the kids. =)
Being able to sit down in front of my lappy and wrote update about my blog, is such a blessing. I mean i'm on the edge of neglecting my own blog ever since i work, i got no extra time to spare, and i'm swamped by worksheets and stuff. And i am able to take a break now! feel so good for being able to be able to put my foot down for a while.
I don't know why, but i was constantly reminded of the past old days. Like today's weather remind me how i would follow my mom's to the town and have some ice kacang after school few years ago. When i indulge myself in some novels that i recently bought, i was reminded how i spent a few restless night constantly reading TWILIGHT SAGA. When i take a stroll around the area near my house,i was reminded how i would walk home with my friends after a session of badminton practise, cursing the teacher who scolded us for not playing well. When i see a group of teenage school house walking past my house,i was quickly reminded how me and my friends would walk together to the restaurant nearby and had quick lunch. Those are the past old days that I had, and even though it seems like a tiniest matter ever, but it was the halcyon days that i missed the most, and i really did. There are times i wish i could go back, and be the girl who worried about nothing. When you are still a small kid, you wish you can grow up faster and do things that only adults can do. But when you are already a grown ups, you wish you know how to time travel and stays forever a child.
Sunday, June 22, 2014
counting down.倒数
Counting days to the day i stop working. I'm not going to lie that i'm not excited at all, in fact i'm overly excited. And then i will have time to do my own thing, go to places i want to go and meet the people i have not meet in ages. That's just beyond awesome. But the truth is that i will have to leave my home soon and go somewhere else i study, which till know i have no idea where i'm heading. But It's going to be announced sooner or later. Being a 20 year old girl, i have never been outside Miri, ALONE, staying at places i might never been, and stay in a room with people i don't know. The thought of living under the same roof with other people does make me shrugged a little bit. I'm not saying that i don't like the idea of staying with other people, but somehow i'm not really fond of it. But what can i do, all the freshman have to stay in the hostel, i guess i will take it as a challenge then. Life just doesn't act in the way you want it too, and the best way to deal with it is to cope with it. Well i do hope my room mate is decent ones. finger crossed.
Well, you can see i have posted a picture of books on top of my post. I really think that reading is a good way to kill time. OMG, lol i feel like i'm writing academic essay when i say that. LOL. But seriously being able to indulge myself in the world of words is just amazing. It's like when i read, i imagine myself being there, witnessing things that happen in the story. It's just beyond words. =) So try to read more people, it's a good way to cut down your stress.
When you are bored, you will find that even the lamest things in the world will turn out to be a funny thing to you. Recently, there are friends of mine on facebook posted photos and news regarding the so called 'artist' from the 'red people' company. Actually i have no interest on such thing. But when you get bored, and you have nothing else to do, reading gossips could be nice thing to do. Haha! Frankly speaking, I'm not really a fan of these people, and in fact i feel that they are the Malaysian version kind of Justin Bieber. LOL, immature and disrespectful. They say they are artist, but i don't see any good and talent in them. Hmm,i wonder how long will they be an artist since they have so many haters. LOL. we will just wait and see.
When you are bored, you will find that even the lamest things in the world will turn out to be a funny thing to you. Recently, there are friends of mine on facebook posted photos and news regarding the so called 'artist' from the 'red people' company. Actually i have no interest on such thing. But when you get bored, and you have nothing else to do, reading gossips could be nice thing to do. Haha! Frankly speaking, I'm not really a fan of these people, and in fact i feel that they are the Malaysian version kind of Justin Bieber. LOL, immature and disrespectful. They say they are artist, but i don't see any good and talent in them. Hmm,i wonder how long will they be an artist since they have so many haters. LOL. we will just wait and see.
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
reasons
It has been years since i first established my own blog, and I really can't believe that it has been ages. I feel like it is just yesterday when i first started to blog.And of all the followers i had, i think i'm the only one who continues to blog, despite the fact that we have other online APPS which is better than blogger. For instance, instagram, where u can just upload bunch of photos and you don't have to write long essays to describe how u feel,what u do today,like what people always said : A picture tells thousand words. Yes it might be true.But it's never going to be the reason i abandon my blog.I mean this blog holds a lot of memories of mine, be it a sweet one or bitter one.
I still remember the first post i ever write for my blog is actually dedicated to a crush of mine. Expressing how i was deeply and madly in love with him but he didn't know about it. The fact that i wasn't bald enough to tell him how i feel, had make me regretted so much. But i guess, there are things and people that are not destined to be ours. And though i might regret, but i'm contented with what i have right now. =)
I still remember the first post i ever write for my blog is actually dedicated to a crush of mine. Expressing how i was deeply and madly in love with him but he didn't know about it. The fact that i wasn't bald enough to tell him how i feel, had make me regretted so much. But i guess, there are things and people that are not destined to be ours. And though i might regret, but i'm contented with what i have right now. =)
Sunday, May 18, 2014
doing the right thing.
I wonder did i do the right thing. feel like something's wrong, but i just couldn't tell what it is. There are times i think that i have made the wrong decision, i should have thought about this more carefully, will it be too late to regret? :-(
Saturday, May 10, 2014
Happiness.
Finally i get a day off from my busy work. As it's a schooling day today, so i don't have to give tuition to my students. and it is such an amazing day to me. Somehow i still need to prepare worksheet for my primary one students, as they are having exams next week, which was a headache for me. But then i came to realize that whatever grades they get , i have done everything i could to help them. only now i realize that how hard it is to be a teacher, and yet i used to be the one who sit comfortably in the chair and complaint about my teacher. I am truly sorry about my bad attitude. I should have put myself in your shoes before i make any judgements. Guess im experiencing the karma right now. lol!
Just when i drove myself home back from work yesterday, i tuned in to a chinese radio station hoping to hear some classics chinese songs. But it turn out to be a interviewing session with a singer,James who's from england but started his singing career in taiwan, he can speak decent chinese and he has a cute accent, well i think it's cute lol . I thought it will be a boring session so i kinda want to change the channel, but then the dj started to ask some questions which caught my attention.
" I heard that you have gone through a hard time when u first started your singing career in Taiwan. And why would you switch your career, since you can make ransom of money with ur previous job." asked the dj.
He hesitated a bit, and started to answer the question. It was his answer that deeply intrigued me.
"erm. There's no doubt that my previous career provide me a lot, but then i wasn't happy back in England. I have been indulge myself in musics whenever i feel stressed or unhappy, then i realized that being able to play guitar and compose songs would make me happy. Thats when i realize that life's too short to spent most of your time doing something you don't like. Then i take a risk, to quit the job and flew to taiwan to venture myself into music." he replied.
it was a simple answer. But it definitely made me think a lot about it.
Some people define happiness as money and wealth. But some people see it another way round. And James is definitely the latter. His happiness is being able to indulge himself in music, to be able to sing, to convey his messages through his voice and lyrics in the songs he composed.
I am a simple girl. I do not know how it feels like to be genuine happy, neither do i know how happiness looks like. because when i feel happy, at the same time im worry about something else. I really respect James for his courages to pursue his dreams and chase after his happiness, i would rather would say he has make his happiness come true. we never know how much it takes to make the decision.
Then it makes me realize that sometimes happiness are just few centrimetres away from us. And it all depends on us, whether we have the courages to decide. To decide a decision that can change you for the rest of your life.
Monday, April 21, 2014
hard.
Being a teacher is HARD. I know being a teacher is never easy, but i never thought it's going to be this HARD. Especially when you have kids who don't listen.
There are times i feel like want to give up, but then i have no choice but to give myself in to the situations. And what even worse is how people judge you based on your students' performance. Fuck this society. Everyday i heard parents talking about their kids' grades, comparing their kids and grades and stuff like that. Come on, please la. Get a life la.
Enough with the complaints. I still need to get back to the real world tomorrow. Its time to learn to suck it up. How i wish july and august could come faster.
Sunday, April 20, 2014
what life has for you.
it's been quite a long time since my last post. I've been too occupied to post anything in my blog here. Life has been very busy for me, actually when you need to prepare teaching materials for kids of all ages. Now i wish july could come faster, i can't wait to have holidays of my own and time to do my own stuff.
One of my friends have flew to Singapore to pursue her dream with aid of fully sponsored scholarship. Really glad to hear that, and i really hope that she's able to achieve what she wants. While some of my friends are busy with their work, as most of them are working now so we barely even contact each other. But then im sure they are as fit as a fiddle. Speaking of which, i feel like a middle aged woman now. I have no idea what i want to do, everything seems boring to me. I needed a break i guess that's why i couldn't wait for july, well. i hope at least i have a one month break to settle all the things need to be settled before i go to study somewhere else. or else it's going to be freaking frustrating.
Many people have asked me about the course i have chosen in university. And i have come across numerous awkward situations whereby people have doubts on the course or programmes i have chosen. Some said that you should take courses that provide wide range of possible careers when u graduate. Ok, so here's what i wanted to say. i choose what i like, and if any case i have chosen something im not suppose to choose , i have myself to blame, and stop criticizing me. its my future and I'm not going to spend the rest of my life doing something i don't like. urgh. But some people just don't understand, whatever. the world would be a better place if people stop being stereotype.
This afternoon Just when i went shopping with my mom just now, i was really surprised that iban songs are being played in the shopping mall. Only then i realized that Gawai festival is just around the corner. I have no idea what has prompted me to forgot all these important festivals , but then if im still a student im sure i will anticipate gawai as much as i could like any other iban friends of mine. But now, i feel nothing at all. Perhaps gawai is just another working days for me. well i guess things and people do change, like friends become strangers, lovers become each others exes, enemy becoming your friends. Guess you'll never figure out what life has for you eh. and it's just me being the old me, being the only one who cares.
Thursday, February 27, 2014
lately
Life has always been the same routine these few months. It's all about waking up, marking students worksheets, going to work and sleep. However, I'm lucky enough to indulge myself in the novels that i bought, it makes me realise that my life is not that boring after all.
Someone has asked me do i miss school? Erm, well part of me missed it, somehow part of me is satisfied with the life now, And part of me is still struggling with my own future. Here i am, standing, wandering, making choices, and still don't know which path i'm going to follow. But i do know, no matter which path i'm choosing, it's going to be a rocky one. I have hoped that my life will be a smooth sailing. Like a stroll in the park, u get to enjoy the breeze and the sunset, it's been a life i have been dreaming of. But then, people say it takes rain to make rainbow, and no pain no gain, guess that's what life is.
When i'm struggling to make choices, some people don't even get to choose what they want. I guess I should be thankful for what i have. I may not be the famous girl who always got the attention, and I'm antisocial sometime, a geek who prefers to stay at home and a nerd who is more comfortable when hanging out with people who's closer to me. I'm weird i know, but i know my value, and that's what matters the most.
Someone has asked me do i miss school? Erm, well part of me missed it, somehow part of me is satisfied with the life now, And part of me is still struggling with my own future. Here i am, standing, wandering, making choices, and still don't know which path i'm going to follow. But i do know, no matter which path i'm choosing, it's going to be a rocky one. I have hoped that my life will be a smooth sailing. Like a stroll in the park, u get to enjoy the breeze and the sunset, it's been a life i have been dreaming of. But then, people say it takes rain to make rainbow, and no pain no gain, guess that's what life is.
When i'm struggling to make choices, some people don't even get to choose what they want. I guess I should be thankful for what i have. I may not be the famous girl who always got the attention, and I'm antisocial sometime, a geek who prefers to stay at home and a nerd who is more comfortable when hanging out with people who's closer to me. I'm weird i know, but i know my value, and that's what matters the most.
Saturday, December 28, 2013
Drunken Tiger, Yoon Mi Rae, Bizzy - The Cure (살자) MV [English subs + Rom...
a song that inspires u emotionally and spiritually. <3333 p="">
happy ending
when i was a kid, i liked to buy story books from the local bookstore.
I always ran to my mom, with several books in my hands and begged her to buy some for me.
Mom has always thought that buying stories books are a waste of money, but still she would reluctantly pay for me at the counter.
Of all the stories books i bought, SNOW WHITE instantly became my favourite of all.
When i was a kid, i have always thought that to lead a life like snow white was totally a perfection.
Love at first sight, a prince charming who eventually came and save the damsel in distress, they got married and live happily ever after.
I have always been a big fan of happy ending, the novels the i read are always the one with happy ending.
But i guess there's no such thing as happy ending in the reality.
well, we never know what happen next in snow white.
did the prince die? or maybe he's having affair with someone else in the story. hmmm
well, i guess life can't be perfect.
I have always been a big fan of happy ending, the novels the i read are always the one with happy ending.
But i guess there's no such thing as happy ending in the reality.
well, we never know what happen next in snow white.
did the prince die? or maybe he's having affair with someone else in the story. hmmm
well, i guess life can't be perfect.
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